it's ironic when i can spread positive vibes to people, telling them to be strong, to love life because life is fun, but then, i'm the one who actually broke.


like really broke.
i'm shattered.


i don't know how long i have to carry this pain. how long i have to pretending that i'm fine. i don't know. i'm giving up. with life, with people around me.
sometimes, i wanted someone to be there for me. to lend their shoulder, to be a listener.... or a supporter.
someone who can tell me that i'm doing something wrong and that i should not let emotions override my rationality. someone who will not let me immersed in my dark emotions.
sometimes i'm desperately need that person. but there's no one.